Conversations During Dinner

ME after Liam said mommy for the ten thousandth time that day: "He says that allll day but when I say 'yes Liam'? he says NOTHING, I can't hear it anymore today"!
DAVID: "Liam, say hippopotamus, that's not mommy that's hippopotamus"
ME...mouth hanging open staring at David.
DAVID: "you know cause it's a hard word to say"
ME: "Do you realize where you went wrong with that"?
DAVID looks down, kinda laughs nervously and says: "Yes, yes I do"
ME laughing but with tears welling: "You just told my son to call me a hippopotamus. When you know I'm working on losing weight"
DAVID: "I know I know, I'm so sorry baby, I really truly didn't mean it that way"!
ME: "Yes but perhaps it was a subconscious decision"
DAVID: "I think that's called a Freudian Slip"
ME: "I know I was trying to not be cliché" (fyi I have since learned a Freudian Slip is also called a parapraxis)
DAVID: "I am so sorry baby"!
ME: "I mean not long after you told me I was no longer sexy or good looking"
DAVID: "HEY, that's not what I said! I said I think you are pretty but you used to be incredibly hot in that picture"...
ME: "You didn't tell me you were thinking about a specific picture when you said that! What picture?"
DAVID: "That one on your desk"...






Never mind that I had HIS two babies in the last two years...and he wonders why he is always in trouble.